Working with what you have
Seasonal reflections to embrace more of what life offers in this moment
Most of my life, I’ve dreaded the loss of summer to autumn and winter. There is just something so damn depressing about it. Less light, bare trees, cold weather — it felt like a march toward death, which it kind of is. Some people revel in the coziness of the holidays and tradition, but I’ve always been more like “Nah, give me that 77-degree (25C) weather.” It didn’t matter that this was nature’s cycle. My seasonal affective bled noticeably and even moving to California in my 20s didn’t provide a complete fix, although it certainly does help.
But I’m getting tired of my yearly routine of despair. I can no longer wait months for relief. This is never going to be the most wonderful time of the year for me, but I’ve started making an effort embrace what I can with less longing for some point in the future. This allows me to appreciate the current moment.
For me, commercialized holidays and traditions don’t cut it. But here are some of the things I am appreciating right now:
Drifting into slumber with the help of hot tea and heavy blankets
Heartier meals with different ingredients and flavors
The strength of the sun’s rays (even on a chilly day)
The unique lighting and shadows of this season
Rediscovering creative pursuits I’ve enjoyed in years past
I don’t have to be upset that my favorite summer produce is on the wane. Maybe what I actually need are the seasonal vegetables available to me right now.
I don’t have to be mad that I can’t have a hot beach day. Maybe my skin needs a break from the burn.
I don’t have to be annoyed when the sun sets at 4:30 pm. Maybe it’s just an invitation to start my day earlier, or do less in general.
Sure, international shipping, travel, and light therapy provide a means of solving these “problems,” but I guess what I’m learning is that the more you let go and accept things for what they are, the more you’re rewarded. Sometimes fighting does nothing but leave you disappointed and frustrated.
As I alluded to earlier, I’m also finding this time of year to be a great opportunity to get creative. We’re physically inside more often, but we can also choose to go deeper within ourselves and channel creativity through thoughts, reflection, and idle time. That’s a friendly reminder to not always fight your boredom 😉
For me, it’s been putting the finishing touches on a book I started writing in 2019 on a Greyhound bus to Los Angeles. It’s taken far longer than I ever imagined, but I also now know the wait was necessary because I could have never written some of the material without more life experience.
Besides that, I’ve been working on trust. Trust that I’m working hard enough, trust that I’m not behind on my creative journey, and trust that my life is unfolding exactly how it’s meant to be, so that I can make the spiritual progress I need to in this lifetime.
I’m sure I’ll have doubts along the way, but I can already feel the layers of anxiety and apprehension melting away. Sometimes what we have (not what we think we want) is exactly what we need.
p.s. I’d love to know if there’s an activity that helps carry you through the season.
Love this, Kiran, and I can relate so much. Moving from Canada to SF was such a (surprising) shock to my system (I was anticipating LA weather, though now I probably prefer SF's). I like what you said about starting your day earlier, or, *doing less.* It’s such a contrast to society's typical narrative that 'you’re only succeeding if you’re moving at a hundred miles a minute.' For me, I've been focusing more on neglected hobbies (playing the guitar), and it's been a welcome surprise. I look forward to your book!