I guess I'm an actor now
If there's something you want to do (but haven't), you're probably the one in the way.
I wanted to be on the damn screen.
Not that I had any urge as an awkward teen, but in my early 20s something inside me beckoned, why not you? Just a small appearance. I didn’t dream about winning awards or being recognized in the streets. I wanted to be a bully who shoved a kid inside of a locker in a coming-of-age high school sitcom. Probably because I wasn’t like that growing up.
I was living in San Diego. Not LA or NYC, where the “magic” usually happens. But for the first time in my life, after moving cross-country, I was developing social confidence. The best part was that I was just being myself. I felt popular. The feeling was foreign, yet welcomed. Looking back, it was one of the many reasons I fell in love with California.
Now and then, I would peruse the now-defunct BeInAMovie.com listings for background opportunities. It only happened once, for the 2008 Will Ferrell flick Semi-Pro. Me and a couple of my co-workers played hooky from work and made the drive to Los Angeles to be 1970s basketball fans. It was a memorable day, and not just because the trip up was the worst I’ve ever had to piss in my life.
We made the drive up on time, me in glorious 70s garb. But to my dismay, my friends made no effort to blend into the time period. This didn’t bode well when production was figuring out who to place in clear view of the camera. I was upset, but I didn’t want to ditch my friends. I bit my tongue.
The day was mostly just sitting around, watching the crew get set up, and going “I think that’s Will Ferrell” from afar, only to realize it was his stand-in.
Continuing my penchant for urination on this day, I got up to look for a bathroom in the arena. I walked what seemed like forever, and found one, only to realize I was in the talent’s craft area, stocked with premium snacks and drinks. I savored the moment, part of me terrified I was going to get caught, and told myself to play it cool like I belonged. It worked, probably because I looked the part. The next thing I knew, Will Arnett and Andy Richter were having a conversation within earshot. I wanted to chime in, but managed to keep myself in check. The story was good enough as is.
When I returned to my original seat, I was no longer irritated at the friends who failed the assignment. My efforts had paid off. I don’t remember much more of that day, other than it being completely worth skipping work for.
This kind of thing didn’t happen often. Still, I’d try now and then. Once I got a gig modeling jeans for a middle-aged man who claimed he was selling them on eBay. By the end, I suspected he just enjoyed ogling me.
At one point, I applied to a casting agency who gladly took my money in exchange for a headshot photo, and not much else. It turned out to be a scam, but luckily I was able to report the business to my credit card and get the charge removed. Free headshot for me!
The whole thing turned me off. Life got busier and my career got started. It wasn’t until I was living in San Francisco and occasionally modeled for Photojojo (something we all did), that I also realized I lived near another casting agency. This one was more legit, but nothing ever materialized.
Fast forward a bunch of years later and I moved to LA. That latent desire resurfaced because it was easy to sign up for a background casting agency when you lived nearby. My partner and I both signed up, because why not?
My first gig was for Grey’s Anatomy. When I got a text about the opportunity, I was surprised to hear the show was still around. It called for a 4:30am arrival on a ranch near Calabasas, so I trekked across town at 3am, not sure what to expect. When I arrived, I was astonished to see the elaborate setup of trailers, production vehicles, and caterers who all seemed like they had arrived 5 hours prior to this ungodly hour. It was fascinating, and I quickly learned that what seemed chaotic was incredibly dialed-in.
I checked in and was told to grab breakfast (an absolutely delicious breakfast burrito) before things got started. Filming that day was in Malibu Creek State Park, so I was asked to follow a convoy of vehicles to the location.
I did a lot of waiting around that day. I moved my car 20 times (they were filming a traffic jam), and spent the majority of the day eating and schmoozing with other extras. I learned that for some people, being an extra was pretty much a full-time (albeit low paying) gig. People like me occasionally did it for fun. Others would regularly drive 3 hours each way (don’t ask me why). It was a new world to me, made more memorable by meeting a conspiracy theorist (another prime source of entertainment).
Mostly, it was fun to observe all that goes into a pro film operation. So many people were working on this one scene. Actors, crew, directors — hell, there was an even an animal guy making sure no one got bitten by a snake. Everyone seemed so good at what they were doing and I left impressed. I had no idea what went into something like this!
Working full-time, I didn’t often have the chance to work these gigs, but now and then I’d find something. They ranged from small indie productions I found on Backstage.com, to other large-scale operations like Minx — a show about a 1970s feminist creating the first erotic magazine for women.
Minx was absolutely fascinating. As a period series, they required everyone to do wardrobe fitting prior to the shoot. You don’t know what you don’t know, but I was surprised to discover there are hangar buildings stocked floor to ceiling with clothing from every era. You go, allow the wardrobe ladies to size you up, and they return with a few different outfits to try on. I got sent to a trailer to change (my own movie trailer, for a few minutes) before they took another look and decided what I would wear on shoot day.
Filming day was cold and rainy. I spent hours just trying to stay warm in a tent, but eventually got asked to change into my outfit and report to hair and makeup. This other tent though, was anything but depressing. My energy was transformed. It was abuzz with cheerful stylists tasked with making you as authentically 70s as possible.
Ever willing to please, I had prepped by showing up with a Fu Manchu. The stylists were impressed, saying I was nearly ready before quickly flat-ironing my hair.
I played the waiting game again, before finally being called to set that evening. It was an outdoor scene, portraying the premiere of the 1972 pornographic film, Deep Throat. There I was in my Fu Manchu, gathered with dozens of other extras snapping photos on my vintage camera (I was a photographer). We did the scene over and over, which, because this was Minx, involved a male streaker baring it all not much since they use AI/CGI for the male member. ‘Tis true that you learn something new every day, just not what you always expect.
Opportunities came scarcely after that, in large part due to strikes and the state of the industry. I got one more gig, for Apple TV’s Shrinking. Neither Harrison Ford nor Jason Segel were on set, but I did unintentionally find myself eavesdropping on a meeting between Zach Braff (director) and a couple of his writers. Other highlights included waving to tourists on a studio tour and just generally showing up to work at Warner Bros. in Burbank.
Luckily, the studios slowing down does not mean indie film does. My buddy and former co-worker Daryl Della is always shooting something and asked me if I wanted to play the role of a villain in his western, Frank Barnett in Love’s Long Shadow. The plan was that maybe we could use my little piece of desert land to shoot an action scene involving a chase, fight, and an actual scorpion. Was “no” even an option?
It was a weekend full of unholy early mornings, sacrificing my body on rocky desert terrain, accidentally pistol-whipping myself upside the head, and learning how to act on the fly — all thanks to Daryl, Sasha Boggs, and the Dollars and Donuts crew. It came out better than I imagined.
Little did I know that something else was brewing on the side. A couple years prior, I played the role of a neighbor in a small film called Can You Say Looking? It was a brief gig, but I must have left a good impression because I stayed in touch with the director and was eventually offered the role of another villain in the upcoming full-length feature Piledriver. Either that or seeing me duke it out in the desert gave him the idea.
I can’t say much about Piledriver yet, but we’re filming soon and I’m excited. It’s a step up in responsibility, but it’s nothing I can’t do, and I’m grateful to have an acting coach to prepare with.
Show business can be a tough business, and I count myself fortunate to be dabbling on the side. You never know when your next gig is and nothing is promised. Even beloved actors go through dry spells when they desperately want to be working. Still, you don’t forget your days on set and there’s no place else you’d rather be.
What I’m learning is to stay as proactive and positive as you can. It all goes somewhere, and you never know what the present moment is building toward.
I’ll update you when I find out what that next thing is.
I loved reading this, and had no idea you were doing this pre-Photojojo days. Now I need to find you in Shrinking! :)