Embrace boredom
Resist the urge to fill your every moment.
An expansion of a topic in my book, Be Your Biggest Inspiration.
I could be looking back on the past in rose-tinted shades, but 2010 seemed a far less chaotic time (at least digitally). Even then, sometimes it felt like too much. I had a hunch that we shouldn’t be trying to fill every waking moment with stimulation or something to do. That’s when I first entertained (and wrote about) the idea that boredom doesn’t have to be what it was when we were kids — absolutely dreadful. Maybe there’s even some value in it?
Fast forward a bunch of years and it still feels worth calling out, especially if you’re trying to live a creative life. How the hell are you supposed to have interesting ideas and make new connections if your brain is constantly being subjected to noise and what other people think?
Almost everyone is living on auto-pilot. Next time you ride an elevator, notice how someone (maybe even you) will grab for their phone, even if they are traveling one floor and the ride lasts 10 seconds. Just to fill the void. It’s even scarier when this plays out with folks at a movie theater or behind the steering wheel.
Although attention engineering is a real force to be reckoned with, we still have a choice. And if that’s feeling like work — it is. But it’s worth it.
This is an opportunity to change your relationship with life.
Not filling every last moment gives your mind space to breathe. Take a break from consumption and something interesting happens. You become more creative. Your brain doesn’t sit there idly. It’s observing and making unique connections you didn’t notice before because… you didn’t have the time or space for it.
The next time you find yourself waiting at an appointment, or standing in line at the store, try resisting the urge to plug what we often treat as a gaping hole. Be still, and relish the time to think your thoughts instead of someone else’s.
I’ve gotten better at identifying these moments and resisting the urge. I can stand in a long line at a coffee shop and just observe. I can wait in the exam room at my doctor’s office and just close my eyes for 15 minutes. I’m not 100% consistent, but it’s an ongoing practice. What helps me is thinking about what I’m trying to cultivate: less anxiety and better focus. That’s absolutely worth not immediately responding to texts, checking feeds, or whatever other unnecessary thing I might try doing.
Here are some other intentional practices I’ve been experimenting with:
Going for a walk without a phone or camera. It’s a stepping stone to sitting quietly by yourself. You get to notice and appreciate all the little things happening.
Setting a timer and sitting alone for 15 minutes. Sure, things I need to do or judgments about stuff do worm their way into my thoughts, but sometimes I’m just listening to my breath in a meditative state. It’s a welcome break and helps me relax.
Give them a try and if you have some of your own, please share them in the comments.
p.s. I don’t want to make this all about being more creative or coming up with ideas in service of productivity or capitalism. Everyone deserves time away from being on, and doing something productive (even if it’s for things or people you love). Embracing “boredom” is about accepting your humanity and right to exist. You are enough, even when you’re not doing something that contributes to the bottom line.
Thanks for sharing this, it’s very inspiring! I was actually thinking about that time period today too, ~2010ish, and how it felt so much easier to be bored back then because my relationship with technology and social media was so different (I still hadn’t bought into the idea that we needed to share our entire lives online). But having a focal point/intention in those moments of boredom sounds like a really great way to actually cultivate it.